Features: Queries for Carrie

Bamboo, bosses and trick or treat October 2007

Query: It’s not that I’m so perfect. But I do try to keep the lawn mowed and a few borders weeded. My neighbor on the one side has this severely invasive bamboo. I keep ripping out long runners. Is there anything I can say that won’t start a range war, but will encourage the negligent people next door to take some action on their side?
–Overwhelmed on Oswego

Carrie: You don’t say if the person/s now living there planted the bamboo, or only inherited it when moving in. Lots of folks just aren’t aware of how nasty and intractable something as decorative as bamboo, or any of the other less venomous seeming invasives, can be. If their yard is otherwise tidy and reasonably maintained, you can assume that they aren’t well-informed regarding the character and behavior of their oriental hedge.
Don’t try to bring the matter up when your neighbor is hurrying off to work, or the gym, or day-care. Don’t give in to temptation and leave a note tucked into their mailbox, or under the windshield wiper. Do say something if you should both be taking in your garbage cans, or mowing, or otherwise out-and-about in a casual way. Do break the ice by lending a hand unloading their car, loaning a ladder, or lassoing a toddler or pet headed for the road. An act of kindness preceding the sharing of your concern regarding the bamboo will soften the message and predispose them to wish to do something for you in return.
Montgomery County does have statutes about managing invasives. But you don’t want to start solving your problem with the position of last resort. A friendly word gives you somewhere to go if the neighbor should prove as recalcitrant as the unwanted flora.

Query: My boss is really busy this time of year. We all are. But I’ve got a number of things I need to clear with her and sort out in general, and they’ve all waited longer than they should have already. She’s on the road and/or in a meeting almost all the time, and frantic to clear her paperwork when she isn’t. What should I do?
–Stymied on Sligo

Carrie: Happily, the modern world is filled with diverse means of communication. In a business setting, you undoubtedly have access to most of them. Shoot your boss an e-mail requesting a meeting (she’s trained to take meetings already) to cover several topics. List the matters you need to discuss, so that she can prepare and keep your use of her time efficient and to a reasonable minimum. She’ll appreciate your foresight and organization, and you’ll have her full attention.
You might even arrange to make such meetings regular, on the order of twice a month, or whatever it would take to keep you busy and productive and her up to date. Put that on the agenda, and you won’t find yourself wondering when you’re going to catch up with her for the necessary review, authorization or what have you.
Treat these meetings seriously. Send her a copy of the decisions you make together each time, meeting minutes in effect. Then she’ll have a written reminder of what she Okayed or promised to take care of, and she’ll have a record of what you’re accomplishing and how you’re following through. It’s a win-win.

Query:  I like Halloween, but I don’t really get to enjoy much of it any more. There are costume parties and such, but it’s different when you’re a grown up. I live in a new condo development, and there aren’t many kids around, and they don’t trick-or-treat in the halls. I can see their point, where’s the adventure and excitement of being out after dark when you’re in a carpeted, well-lit hallway. What can I do to get my thrills on the night-of-nights?
–Left-out on Larch

Carrie: You can call any friend you have who is so lucky as to have a child of the right age, and volunteer to accompany them on their appointed rounds. You can locate a local scouting troop or recreation center and get involved with planning and executing the seasonal festivities. You can go over to the house of friend living in a neighborhood of the right demographic composition and hand out the candy in costume. You could even make a real night of it and carve pumpkins to put out on the front steps or railing.
You don’t have to sit at home eating the bag/s of treats all by yourself while watching Seinfeld reruns, or any other equally too-adult show devoid of the magic of the holiday. And you most assuredly don’t have to forlornly follow costumed little strangers at a distance, giving them the wrong idea about your intentions and reinforcing your sense of isolation on the night of nights.